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The Cougar Dating Myth

There’s been a lot of Media Coverage recently on the hot topic of “Cougar Dating.”

As the Dating in Secret Dating Coach I thought I’d let you know my thoughts on the issue.


Firstly, for those who don’t know, Cougar Dating is where an older woman dates a much younger man.  This trend has come into the public light by such celebrities as Demi Moore, Jennifer Aniston and Sam Taylor-Wood.
The reality of this is that it’s just not happening as much as the media likes to make out.  Unless the woman is very attractive and has looked after herself then she’s really not going to be getting a toyboy….at least not for long.    A Cougar Relationship is fine for a quick fling or when it’s mutually beneficial but it doesn’t usually lead to anything long term.   These cougar’s “cubs” are more likely to enjoy being taken out and treated to clothes, meals, evenings out etc.   They might also like a more experienced woman but they won’t sleep with them unless they have something amazing to offer.
The same goes for older men and younger women.  Unless they have the looks of George Clooney, the wallet of Peter Stringfellow or an amazing personality then the girls aren’t going to be going near them.

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but generally speaking it’s better to be realistic.  Most men date women around three to five years younger than themselves and aren’t that interested in older women.  Likewise,  younger women are going to be looking for a partner who is just a few years older.

So don’t set yourself unrealistic expectations and only target people who you have a chance of getting interest from.    You could be getting lucky rather than wasting your time wondering why things aren’t going anywhere!

James Preece – The Dating Guru