Dating in Secret is an online dating and friend finder service for single or attached people looking for discreet adult fun. With Dating in Secret you can meet new friends, find romance or simply meet up online with people sharing similar interests and hobbies. Whatever you are looking for, we won't tell a soul.

Do Adult dating sites really work?

Adult Dating Sites are huge

But are they worth your time and money?


As a leading adult dating site, we often get asked the same question over and over again.   Do people really meet up from it?


The simple answer is yes and the demand is increasing all the time.


Of course, for every good site there are plenty of wannabe companies who claim to be bigger and better than anyone else.  You might sign up for one of these at the promise of easy conquests, only to be disappointed when you realise they are fake profiles.


A reputable site, such as constantly monitors members to make sure they are genuine and looking to meet up.


However, as with all dating sites, you can’t sit back and wait for things to happen automatically.  You need to make sure that you put the effort it and


1) Have a great photo.   This is absolutely vital, more so than a regular dating site.   Would you want to meet up with someone whose face you can’t see?   You might not want people to know you are on a sexual encounters website, but this is no excuse not to have a photo.  Our members are the only ones who can see it and you can set it to favourites only if with to stay anonymous.


2) Have realistic expectations.    Everyone has different tastes and some people will obviously have more success than others.  So keep that in mind and don’t be too judgemental.  Accept that not everyone will be interested in you and that we all come in different shapes and sizes.


3) Send out proper messages.  This is where you really need to put the effort in.  The hottest girls and guys are going to be getting more than interest than they can probably handle, so you need to get their attention.  If you write a friendly, polite and engaging email then they’ll be more likely to respond.


4) Build up trust.  Very few people will agree to meet up with you after just one short email.  It can take time to get to know each other and establish if there is any connection and reason to meet. They want to know your meeting will be safe, fun and discrete.  Never threaten or demand anything.  Let them do things in their own time.


5) Meet!  You’ve put in the hard work and found someone who wants to have sex with you.  So don’t chicken out or mess them around.  If you delay it too long or make excuses, you’ll start to worry and they’ll call it off.


Good luck,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Using Pornography with Dating

Do you like watching porn?

You can try mixing this dating.

Whether we admit it or not, many people like to watch porn in their spare time. Both men and women will watch in in secret and not tell their partners/dates about it.
But despite this, many couples never choose to watch it together.
This is because men and women prefer different things. Men usually like to watch short, fast action while women enjoy longer, more romantic scenes.  However, this doens’t mean you can’t find some common ground!
Providing it’s nothing too unsual, there’s not reason why you can’t involve this in your own sex lives.  Porn is all about fantasy which in turns sparks the imagination.

Firstly, talk about what sort of thing you get off on.  It’s important that neither of you feels threatened so don’t compare each other to the models you’ll see in adult film.  Nobody likes to feel they are second best or don’t “measure” up.

Once you’ve found some common ground, settle down with a few drinks and watch a film together.

Even if you one of you finds it boring or funny, just have it on in the background while you have sex instead.  The noises alone should turn you both on more than usual.
Why not make your own porn video?  Most mobile phones have built in video cameras with great resolution, so set this up nearby.  If you are nervous about filming yourselves, then just pretend you’ve got a cameraman, director, lighting person in the room.  Act the part and imagine you’re being watched by thousands.   You’ll get an exciting boost to your love making.

Finally, never make pornography a substitute for real sex.  If you don’t have a partner, then search now on and hook up with someone near you today!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to plan a dirty weekend

A dirty weekend away can be just the thing to spice up your lovelife.


If you are planning a naughty getaway then a little pre-planning can make it much more memorable.

The most important thing is to set the scene so choose the venue wisely . Half of the turn on is actually in her head so you want to let her know you’ve made a big effort to impress her.

Find a decent hotel, preferably one with a four poster bed. If you can afford it, get one with a jacuzzi bath which will add an extra dimension.

Before you set off you need to go shopping.  Buy a good bottle of Champagne and lots of seductive treats like strawberries, honey and chocolate.

Invest in some scented massage oils and candles.  If the room smells nice it will enhance your sexual experiences.

Pack lots of props like blindfolds, lingerie handcuffs and sex toys.  A good vibrator can work wonders for both of you.
Remember to bring some music with you.  You don’t want to have to rely to background noise from a television!

Once you’ve arrived, turn off your phone and spend the weekend purely on each other rather than checking for text messages and emails

The last step is to arrange breakfast in bed for the morning and add the “Do not Disturb” card outside your door!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating out of your League

It’s easy to look at people you might fancy and be fearful to talk them as they seem to be “out of your league.”   Here are some tips to overcome this.


1) Forget about leagues – there’s no reason why a ten can’t date a five if they are both getting something out of the relationship. it’s not all about looks. Everyone has different things to offer.  If it’s not looks, perhaps you can make people laugh, play the guitar or bake a fantastic cake. Work out what you have going for you and make the most of it!

2) Don’t swoon too soon.  Pretend that you’ve not noticed how wonderful they all to start with.  They’ll work harder if they don’t think you are impressed!  High league people want you to appreciate their less obvious qualities too.

3) High League people rarely get chatted up as everyone else is scared to approach them.  Go up and say hello. They’ll admire you for your courage and positive attitude.

4) Always be the best “you” possible.   If you make sure you always wear your best clothes and look well groomed you’ll instantly become more confident and up your social standing.  Confidence is sexy and stands out a mile!

5) The most important part of going for the people you want is refusing to go for the people that you don’t!  So, from now on, you only approach the ones you are attracted to. It really is this simple – If you want to play in the major leagues, you’ve got to stop wasting time with the minors!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

The Cougar Dating Myth

There’s been a lot of Media Coverage recently on the hot topic of “Cougar Dating.”

As the Dating in Secret Dating Coach I thought I’d let you know my thoughts on the issue.


Firstly, for those who don’t know, Cougar Dating is where an older woman dates a much younger man.  This trend has come into the public light by such celebrities as Demi Moore, Jennifer Aniston and Sam Taylor-Wood.
The reality of this is that it’s just not happening as much as the media likes to make out.  Unless the woman is very attractive and has looked after herself then she’s really not going to be getting a toyboy….at least not for long.    A Cougar Relationship is fine for a quick fling or when it’s mutually beneficial but it doesn’t usually lead to anything long term.   These cougar’s “cubs” are more likely to enjoy being taken out and treated to clothes, meals, evenings out etc.   They might also like a more experienced woman but they won’t sleep with them unless they have something amazing to offer.
The same goes for older men and younger women.  Unless they have the looks of George Clooney, the wallet of Peter Stringfellow or an amazing personality then the girls aren’t going to be going near them.

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but generally speaking it’s better to be realistic.  Most men date women around three to five years younger than themselves and aren’t that interested in older women.  Likewise,  younger women are going to be looking for a partner who is just a few years older.

So don’t set yourself unrealistic expectations and only target people who you have a chance of getting interest from.    You could be getting lucky rather than wasting your time wondering why things aren’t going anywhere!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Message profiles with no photo

Ever thought about why so many online dating profiles don’t have photos?

it might be

1. I’m too shy or embarrassed – but still want to meet people

2. I didn’t have a photo at the time – but I still want to meet people

3. I’m bit computer illiterate – but I still want to meet people

4. I was just wanting to attend events – but I still want to meet people

5. I was just having a look, or I’m lazy – but I still want to meet people

The common theme is that these people, still want to meet new people, why else would they be on a dating site. Sure some are timewasters BUT

I bet no-one else has sent them a message:

This puts YOU in the driving seat. Yes, its going to take a bit more effort on your part, but why not contact 10 to 20 new people who’s profiles you like, in the right age group, and see what happens?

We find that so many of these people are really flattered to be contacted. If you have a photo in your profile, they can see who you are so if you get a reply then you are already AHEAD of the game. You can always ask them for a photo.

She could be waiting for you

She could be waiting for you

Its good for everyone

Don’t underestimate the power of this.  Contacting these people gets them involved in the site, encourages them to add photos, and makes the site busier for everyone.

Register now CLICK HERE

The top Five Sex Positions

Posted in: Sex tips

From a recent survey the following were revealed as the favourite sex positions.

The top 5 sex positions for men and women

Top 5 Favorite Positions for men

1. Doggy style

2. Girl on Top

3. Missionary

4. Reverse cowgirl

5. Seated

what is your favourite?

what is your favourite?

Top 5 Favorite positions for women

1. Doggy

2. Girl on Top

3. Missionary

4. Spooning

5. Him standing, her seated

Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter, as long as both partners are in agreement and spend lots of time practicing ;-) tee heee…

Try your favourite sex positions with one of our members Join Now

Why use

Why do people use Adult Dating Sites

Put simply, if you are looking for no strings fun then this is the site for you.

Sometimes full on dating is just too much effort when all you really want is sex. Perhaps surprisingly, its not just men that get these urges. There are an increasing number of women in the UK, also not sexually satisfied or who do not have time to find a relationship. Perhaps they are busy with work, or just a bored housewife looking for a bit on the side. has a very respectable female to male ratio, giving you the best chance of finding someone suitable.

To join in the fun, all you need to do is sign up to our free online dating site and start searching. Gone are the days of dating ads in the paper or lonely hearts columns in your favourite magazine, dating sites can be accessed at any time of the day with just a click of a button and you can chat immediately to other like-minded members. You can create a profile anonymously if you are one of many cheating wives or are married and looking to have an affair, sign up today and enter a whole new side to you! Single or married, gives you the excitement that you are looking for.

Sexy couple

Sexy couple simply gives those seeking adult fun or extramarital relations an outlet. Sexual needs are there to be met and sometimes life is better when the complications are left at the door. Join us today and you will be able to have quality intimate relations with people who are interested in upgrading their private lifestyle like you are.

Register now – Click Here