The Benefits of Adultery
Are you married but crave more sex, perhaps with another person? That is adultery but is it all wrong?
Adultery is defined as extramarital sex or infidelity to a spouse – having a sexual relationship with another person while married. Studies have shown a high percentage of people surveyed admit that adultery is wrong but most people also have fantasies about sex with another person. Could it be that there are actually positive results of adultery? There are plenty of people who think adultery is acceptable and this shows, at the very least, there is a perception of positive effects.
Affairs and Dating
Even though adultery is defined differently and there are different consequences according to subscribed religion, most every religion makes adultery a sin. Several U.S. states make adultery a civil crime and some countries list adultery as a criminal offense. Even so, studies have found that in the U.S., 50 percent for men and 38 percent for women have engaged in adultery. Since so many people are willing to engage in this behavior, there must be something positive about it.
Why people commit Adultery?
Dr. Kirkendall, a marriage and family sociology professor at Arizona State University, expresses the opinion that all people have a need to “have autonomy and control over his or her own sexual functioning,” as discussed in his book, A New Bill of Sexual Rights and Responsibilities. This is the major reason espoused for committing adultery – it is human nature. It is argued that humans are not meant to be monogamous. Humans have a biological and psychological need to have sex with multiple partners and an exclusive marriage is a social contract that contradicts nature. Many people who have adulterous affairs say that they had no control over their actions. It was as if they were being controlled by an outside force. This outside force is nothing else than their own genetics. Sex with multiple partners, scientists say, was one of the evolutionary forces that ensured the survival of the species before the advent of civilization. It took at least one million years to develop this trait and we have only begun seeing it as a bad thing for a few thousand years.
Many people who have had adultery say they did it for the thrill or because it felt good to engage in illicit behavior. Usually, this falls into deviant psychological behavior. Some people resist authority on all levels, including the authority of their religion or the authority of their spouse. In this case, the only positive aspect of adultery is the discovery of the true nature of a spouse. Adultery can then allow the faithful spouse to go through divorce proceedings and find someone who is more compatible or they have the choice of working out the difficulties with a therapist. Adultery can lead to getting psychological help which may act to curb other unwanted behavior that would eventually have shown at another during the marriage, possibly with real disastrous consequences.
Get Enhanced Fulfillment
Going back to the nature theory, adultery is a step toward enhanced fulfillment, not only sexually, but as a human being in general. Exercising control of one’s sexuality can lead to increased confidence that shows itself in other arenas of society. Confidence is one of the hallmarks of a successful person. Richard Wasserman, author of a chapter in the book, Philosophy and Sex, espouses that sexual exclusivity is not a necessary condition for a happy or rewarding marriage. In the same book, Frederick Elliston says that adultery is defensible simply because it provides pleasure.
As it can be seen, adultery is the breaking of a contract and promise to a spouse that was made during the marriage ceremony. In this sense, adultery can be seen as wrong and hurtful to someone else. However, this promise is based on a fallacy and is enforced only by socially created values. In nature, sexual promiscuity is the norm and humans need multiple sexual partners to fulfill their roles in nature.
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